we don't know quite what else to do, we have all our beliefs

andthentheresme @ 2005-06-18T00:01:00

2005-06-18T07:02:43Z

ok so i have pictures, and jayme, breann, and lindsay needed to see them.
so breann said to revive my lj JUST THIS TIME have fun kids

yes. she did it.

andthentheresme @ 2005-02-13T22:46:00

2005-02-14T06:45:59Z

oh..

livejournal,

goodbye

andthentheresme @ 2005-02-09T00:05:00

2005-02-09T08:05:52Z

i'm running out of things to post.
and getting bored of things to read.
livejournal is dull
not to mention pointless
[not like i just realized this]

it's a place we've never been,
it's a waste to keep it in
it means little to you but the world to me
--ian-->

andthentheresme @ 2005-02-07T21:59:00

2005-02-08T05:59:06Z

ok so i really like this

staring at the world through the hole you put in My
hand. that was caused by a blade you gently inserted.
I did this for you, not for your religon, not for your
patterns. I did this for you. I did this for a man
like you. stop searching and find Me. I am stabbed by grace
and slinging blood.

spiritualized hardcore=magnificent
[i've discovered]

ordered the race the sun and alexisonfire cds a few days ago

andthentheresme @ 2005-02-06T23:44:00

2005-02-07T07:44:40Z

no sadness, no drama, no complications, no anger, no misunderstandings... just exhilaration

and hopefully my future

it seems there is nothing to remind me of peace down here
so how come all i feel is joy
--ian-->

andthentheresme @ 2005-02-06T00:33:00

2005-02-06T08:33:01Z

you're falling
well so am i

let's catch each other
impossible?

push the lines we ask for leniency
bend until proven we'll never know
they hold the brush dripping with pigment
painting morals in a deep shade of grey
they receive nothing but despisal
.
.
ok so i just let my pen go tonight. don't question a thoughtful mind

andthentheresme @ 2005-02-04T23:24:00

2005-02-05T07:24:40Z

ms. jayme palmer made my day. nobody ever says anything like that.
thanks dear.

oh, and does an a+ affect your gpa more than an a or a-? i hope so--but doubt it.

i am all you've ever wanted,
what all the other boys all promised.
sorry i told. i just needed you to know.
i am the cause to all your problems,
shelter from cold. we are never alone.
coordinate brain and mouth.
then ask me whats it like
to have myself so figured out.
i wish i knew..

[edit: i didn't write that. it's a song. i wish i did though]

do you like my ability to bend?
except i dont..
--ian-->

andthentheresme @ 2005-02-03T22:56:00

2005-02-04T06:56:23Z

Everything was wrong so we sang sentimental songs. "Oh how seldom we belong but how elegant our kiss." We painted crooked lines but danced in perfect time to a love so much refined, we know not what it is until like a dullen wine we pour into a grief know before but never quite like this. All i know now is regret, it follows like a silhouette along the cobbelstone behind me, but has nothing to say except to innocently ask, its voice delicate as glass, "Do you see me when we pass?" but i continue on my way.

created something out of nothing... only to destroy it
and i'm sorry, to you. you'll never be the same
--ian-->

andthentheresme @ 2005-02-02T22:07:00

2005-02-03T06:07:25Z

ok so i guess... me and a few other people are gonna be "famous". fourth period ms. nobiltt and the photographers came into our class and pulled some people out. we circled around on the quad, held hands, and prayed while the photographers took pictures. i guess it's gonna be on LAB's national brochure thing. eh, pretty cool

then church tonight. ok i would not actually volunteer myself to do that. two days ago danny came to me and basically pleaded because someone bailed at the last minute. so yeah. oh yeah and she was in eighth grade. poor girl; she was shaking like crazy.

because when i think of you as mine
and allow myself with time
to lead into the life we want
i feel loved, honestly
--ian-->

andthentheresme @ 2005-02-01T22:24:00

2005-02-02T06:24:00Z

i think my emotions are dulled. to a point where i struggle to feel strongly in a certain way. it sucks because i feel like i can't give certain people, or anyone everything i have because... that comes to a different point that i'm leaving alone.

i'm individualistic... i've always been that way and it's not something i'd necessarily change about myself. i'm slightly introverted, quiet, and passive; it's because of how i was raised.. probably being homeschooled for 9 years. i don't show joy or sadness..

there's this part of me that extremely few people have seen. it laughs, loves, and cries. i can't show it, i don't know why,
and i hate it

everything i know has let me down
so i will just let go
let you turn me inside out
because i know i'm not sure about anything
but you wouldn't have it any other way
--ian-->

happiness is given in the form of a girl
...hand in hand with the stars...

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-30T23:55:00

2005-01-31T07:55:50Z

last night i dreamt that i died. how or why i don't know, but what was weird is that i didn't care.
i watched what i had lived go on without me; but without other people around. i saw everything i put so much of my life into, just sitting there uncaring about the lack of my presence.
i had this stupid, but amazingly real, feeling of pointlessness. all that i loved didn't matter then, and it won't when i actually die.

i do love all of you though

do they even cure you?
or is it just to humor us before we die
if only we could heal ourselves
we wouldn't need to be hooked up to these machines
let us redefine what it means to heal
--ian-->

it was a dream. i'm not actually morbid.

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-29T22:52:00

2005-01-30T06:52:18Z

[sometimes... we don't do the things that we want--

my life. your control. my discontent
...my complaints...

--so that others won't know we want to do them.]

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-29T00:32:00

2005-01-29T08:33:00Z

i'm constantly reminded of why surfers don't go to the gym.
i've got my board.
waves.
and a workout.

storm surf today. only lasted an hour.
pictures later.

but i did make something

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-27T22:23:00

2005-01-28T06:23:18Z

ok so i got two cds today. and both are amazing.
moonlight survived by moments in grace
and
the friday night lights soundtrack
awesome

going out in the water after our last final tomorrow. jake's coming too. ha his first time in over a year.

spanish and history tomorrow. eh

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-26T21:38:00

2005-01-27T05:38:44Z

so i finished my religion final in 27 minutes.. my dear sam lui finished 2 minutes after that. we played hang man for half an hour. she gave me "griffith park". to get her back i did "not creative"..

then i just started writing..

and i thought the trees breathed lies
tempt the heart with shuffled cries
and i thought the wind blew faith
passed through hopes that we create

i guess i could keep it going. we'll see

uhh...
oh youth group

oh that wonderful cross
bids me come and die
to find that i might truly live
--ian-->

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-25T18:35:00

2005-01-26T02:35:48Z

english review--might be useful-- so click it

and i have to get the literary terms from somebody. i forgot to write all of them down.
so if you have them, please do me a favor and somehow get them to me.
please

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-24T22:11:00

2005-01-25T06:11:32Z

chris. every single day he sits in some painfully awkward way, worthy of a picture. yeah, he "sat" there like that for 30 minutes.

if only i was 17 and she was 16, then i would be driving her.

..i need shadows.. and depth to my layer. eh oh well

the hands will fall away, the pain appeal
the trees will say its okay
cause i'm scared that theres no answer
cause i'm scared theres no dreamers
in this life of mine there is only time
the illusion of which is gone
--ian-->

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-24T00:08:00

2005-01-24T08:08:32Z

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-23T20:36:00

2005-01-24T04:36:37Z

..the stupid bandwagon drove right by me
Post a memory of me in the comments. It can be anything you want. Then post this to your journal and see what people remember of you.

and we'll never have to listen
to anyone about anything
cause it's all been done and it's all been said
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get
--ian-->

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-22T22:03:00

2005-01-23T06:03:15Z

she said "no, you've got wits, you've got looks,
you've got passion, but i swear that you've got me all wrong."
all wrong.
all wrong.
but you got me...

knowing the way i'm thought of.. by a certain person.. is amazing

2005-01-22T08:37:46Z

camille took me home after school and we watched part of napoleon dynamite.
then i took a nap.
woke up to the beautiful sound of a certain ringer ID.
now i'm happier

crazy night. more deception than preferable though. thankyou christina. [...i like your pants... ]

dj stubby check this baby out. click
[--if you want something different, let me know and i'll change it this weekend. the dimensions are the same as the original menu bar.
oh and the links don't work yet because the file has to be in the site directory.--]

everything i know has let me down
so I will just let go
let you turn me inside out
because i know
i'm not sure about anything
and you wouldn't have it any other way
--ian-->

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-21T00:40:00

2005-01-21T08:40:32Z

my imperfect angel

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-19T22:12:00

2005-01-20T06:12:50Z

all the right moves...
will screw you over

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-19T17:51:00

2005-01-20T01:51:52Z

i can actually go to church on the way tonight. first time in months.

ok so i'm sitting here making this menu bar in flash for the new lab site, and this song i usually skip comes on.
i didn't skip it this time.

in between
the patterns of this masquerade
i find You create
something beautiful of me
as Your steps are traced
as we twist and sway
to this music day by day
You're the love i've found that moves me
--ian-->

andthentheresme @ 2005-01-18T23:16:00

2005-01-19T07:16:10Z

kelli! i love this picture

^^summer camp